The cars scurry
across my blank gaze
as I sip my coffee
braced against the rails
My mind hushes
after a long day at work
As the traffic rushes
my bus pulls up to the curb
A wave of fatigue
that starts from my curled feet
closes my heavy eyelids
and I collapse into my seat
***
It is dark outside;
the window has become a mirror.
I have a quick bite
and head on back from the diner.
 |
| Nighthawks by Edward Hopper |
***
A wave of energy
that swells up from down below
lifts me up bodily
and dumps me outside my door
My head throbs
like the flies atop the lone lamp posts
as I round the blocks
deserted but for any damned souls
My thoughts race
the regrets, worries, sighs
and I steel my face
with resolutions renewed every night
I love the lyric quality of this, but the third section initially puzzled me. What is "my door" and how did I get there from the diner? I felt like the first two sections might have been part of a slightly disjointed story line, but then the third section landed me somewhere I didn't expect to be. And why am I still wandering around after being dumped outside my door?
ReplyDeleteReading a second time, I'm opting for a much more disjointed reading. These are three separate snippets of time, the first a bus ride, the second a diner visit, and the third a walk around the block to think. One does not lead to the other; rather they are connected in mood and probably life phase only. If I go with this interpretation, then each section is a separate stage of contemplation. The first features the words "blank,"hush," and "fatigue," indicating an inactive mind. The second and shortest section focuses on the window becoming a mirror. The narrator has begun to (or has been forced to) look inward and his mind is now active. The third section pops immediately with the word "energy," in stark contrast to the "fatigue" of the first verse. The key words here are all powerful action words: "lift," "dump," "throb," and "race". The process of mental activation has begun in earnest, but it is inconclusive and there is a suggestion of repeated failure. Still, it is open-ended, which to my mind signifies hope. The mere fact of the progression from inactive complacency to an active search for the right "resolution" to me reinforces that conclusion.
It's a powerful poem and I like it very much.
I'm glad you liked it :) In my mind, the 3 sections depict 3 different scenes on the same day. The last one is late at night and starts with the man lying in bed unable to sleep.
DeleteThe middle part acts as a bridge between 2 contrasting moods. I'm happy that came across (blank vs race, hush vs throb, fatigue vs energy). In the first part, the man's mind dully registers the hustle and bustle around him. After night falls and the world quiets down, his mind gets charged up turning to more private matters that are troubling him.